I want to make people\’s lives better. I don\’t want to be selfish anymore. This world is magnificent. I don\’t feel like people really appreciate it. There have been so many times where I have been enthusiastic about something simple and someone feels the need to check me back into reality. But what they don\’t understand is, is that it IS reality. I feel like so many people don\’t understand what\’s really real. Being excited about running through sprinklers when your 18 is not ridiculous. I personally think that it\’s ridiculous not to. I never want to turn into an adult….I don\’t mean get older, because with age comes more adventures, but i mean turn into an adult. I never ever EVER want to lose my view of the world, because in all honesty, it is the most beautiful thing I\’ve ever had, and I feel so blessed that God has granted me the ability to take joy in all the little things. I know what reality is. I promise. I\’m not completely deluded. The Holy Spirit give us 7 gifts: Knowledge, Right Judgement, Reverence, Courage, Understanding, Wisdom and Wonder and Awe. I think that God makes some of them easier for us then others. For example, some people have alot of knowledge about truth, but they sometimes might not be very brave. I think he did this for a very specific reason. I think those that are natural-born talents are meant to be shared with all those other people that are lacking in it….and they can help you with what you have trouble with. It bonds us closer to each other and helps us bond closer to Christ. I spend alot of my time listening to others….trying to learn from others….Trying to understand truth, trying to grasp it. I am indebted to everyone that has put up with all my questions and actually explained things to me. I always thought that everyone always helped me, but I think that I\’ve actually done some good too. I\’m way deeper than alot of people give me credit for. That has bothered me for a really long time. I never felt appreciated. For my thoughts or my joy or my intelligence or my friendship. I never really believed anybody really took the time to really know me and love me….like really love me. I have always thought people thought I was stupid or crazy or naive or inept at being able to do anything. And I believed them. That my friends, is the worst mistake to make. I let it take over me. I gave into them. I thought I was worthless…like I just don\’t matter. But the truth is, is I do matter. We all matter. I was talking to Joe the other day and I said I didn\’t want to change the world, and he said but you already are. We all change the world, just by being here, the world is changed. Isn\’t that crazy. It\’s up to you to change it for the better. Do not be afraid. You know that phrase is in the bible 365 times. Do Not Be Afraid. I wish I could take that to heart and actually learn to live it. I look back at my life and I can see how fear has shaped. Fear is one of the strongest of human feelings. It\’s what cause flight or fight reactions. It\’s what allows 5 ft, 110 lbs women lift a tree off of a car her baby is. It\’s what I have been a slave to for my whole life. It\’s what runs all of our lives. Satan wants us scared. When we are scared, we are liable to do just about anything….even if it isn\’t moral, even if it isn\’t right. Whether you like it or not…..this society perpetuates fear. It\’s brainwashed into us. Just watch the 6 o\’clock news. It\’s so futile. Fear is a wasted emotion. I know this….why can\’t I live it. Life is all about choices. We have free will (I used to not believe in free will, but due to arguments I could not stand up against I have revaluated my opinion on the subject matter…..funny how God will thwart every plan you have, but his) and this free will allows us to be the creators of our own destiny. I have come to realize that it doesn\’t matter what family you come from….where you live….how much money you have….your life situtation….you can change if you want to. You can overcome all obstacles. Stop clinging to the crutch of excuses for not being the person you want to be. It\’s harder for some….it may seem impossible, but look at how many \”impossible\” things happen in this beautiful world every day. Do not let fear ruin who you cold be. Don\’t let fear keep you from living. I have done that for way too long. I need to change. It\’s like this….There\’s a tree. We are all hanging on a branch of the tree.We hang on for dear life to the branches because the tree is directly over a cliff. You\’re stuck. You hear stories about how there\’s a safety net at the bottom of the tree and you periodically see people letting go of their branch and plummeting into the cliff. What should you do. You\’re not being completely fulfilled on the branch, because you\’re just dangling, but it\’s something realy and concrete. You could be completely fulfilled if you let go and those stories about the net were true, but you can\’t see it, so how do you know it exists…are you supposed to rely on faith alone? What are you gonna do….are you gonna keep hanging on to the branch or risk plummeting to your death for the net. The world is the branch and god is the net. What are you gonna do? Every life has so much potential and to not live it to it\’s fullest extent is the greatest tragedy this world has ever seen. A professor once remarked (about St. John), \”This fellow is a complete ass. What can he possibly accomplish?\” Father Vianney replied, \”If Samson armed only with the jawbone of an ass, could kill one thousand Philistines, imagine what God can do with the complete ass!\” I love life!!!
\”This is your life. Are you who you wanna be?\” – Switchfoot
\”I could achieve success on earth, but success cannot define my worth.\” – Ginny Owens
\”Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.\” – Henry David Thoreau
karen, you and your words make me happy. they are certainly inspiring, and have really made me think about the role that fear plays in my own life. come to austin next yeeeeear! 🙂