Apologies

I\’m horrible at my job.  It\’s ok.  I was pretty upset about
it yesterday, but I\’m ok with it now.  I mean, maybe my brain just
doesn\’t work in that business, multi-tasking way that you need to be
good at it.  I didn\’t have a good day yesterday and my boss was
there and I got really nervous and I screwed up…alot.  She got
mad and yelled at me.  Anyways, so I was a little upset,  but
today I realized something.  That nothing really matters except
reuniting your soul with the God who created you.  Everything else
is futile.  Which is why I\’m going to make an apology.  To
everyone.  That I have ever known.  I\’m truly sorry for doing
anything that might have in anyway caused any kind of pain in your
life.  I\’m especially sorry to Danny and Sara, because I\’ve been
mean to both of them.  You didn\’t deserve that.  I\’m
sorry.  I\’m sorry to anyone who has ill feelings towards me.
I\’m sorry to everyone who thinks I\’m being a baby.  I apologize
for all those times I\’ve been stubborn when I should have acted
differently.  It\’s amazing once you look at your life a little bit
how much you do just out of pure stubbornness.  It\’s incredible how
miserable being stubborn can make you.  It links alot with
pride.  If I was just a little less proud and a little less
stubborn then I think that I could have been so much happier with
everyone else and myself.  God does amazing things.  He
protects us when we\’re weak and he loves us more than anything on
Earth.  His light can outshine even the grimmest darkness.  I
love being Catholic.  I mean I can have like a conversion everyday
and get that feeling of being born again EVERY DAY!  That\’s what
the Eucharist means to me.  It is starting everything over with
God present.  He wants us to turn from our proud stubborn
ways.  He hates it when we\’re miserable.  He wants us to be
at peace.  More specifically at His peace.  He is our Abba,
our daddy.  And it is because of his mercy that I can even have a
shot of letting go of my life and live in the fullness of the Holy
Spirit.  I know I\’ll fail.  I know I\’ll have to apologize to
those I love more than once.  Satan gets the best of me
alot.  But I really want all of you to know that I\’m making an
effort to forgive those who have caused me pain, and I\’m making an
effort to be forgiven for my mistakes.  I love all of you so much
more than you can ever know.  Please know that.  Even if I\’m
mad or upset or immature or being dumb, know that I love you and that I
want nothing more then what\’s best for you.  Maybe this is me
growing up.  On a completely different note.  I read Harry
Potter and the Half Blood Prince.  Let me just say, I was really
happy about some things that I believe very strongly about and I was
very displeased about other things.  If you\’ve read it, you might
know what I\’m talking about.  I know it was probably necessary,
because Harry\’s growing up, but come on!  I\’m bitter about the
ending.  The next book better be good or I\’m gonna be angry.
I spent like all day yesterday reading.  It was pretty good
though.  I think I\’d rate the books from fave to least fave as: 3,
1, 6, 2, 4, 5

\”So long status quo.  I think I\’ve just let go.  You make me want to be brave.\”