Friends with My Ex

So these last couple of days have really and truly sucked.  At least for me and I know for Danny too.  I just hope that at the end of the day he\’s still willing to be my best friend, because he totally is.  I love being around him all the time…even now.  I hope he feels the same way.  I miss him so much and I\’ve seriously been a wreck without him.  Kailey said I was depressing her.  I\’m worried about Danny, and I\’m constantly hoping that he\’s ok.  I hope i\’ll be ok too, but I\’d rather have Danny be ok then me.  I want to just take all his pain and hurt away and feel it for him, because it kills me seeing him the way he is right now.  I went to the eye doctor today.  I told my mom I didn\’t need to, but she made me go anyways…for a checkup she said.  So, would you be interested in knowing the verdict?  I have slight astigmatism in my right eye and am slightly near sighted in my left eye.  The good news is, it\’s so slight glasses wouldn\’t really help much, cause i can see pretty much fine.  The bad news is, is that I kind of want glasses a little bit.  like reading glasses or something because I think glasses look good I guess.  I don\’t know….i think my face looks big.  I cannot stop thinking about Danny.  Right now my whole focus on life is becoming friends with him again, cause even if we end up not being together romantically, he will always be my bff.  I\’ve been thinking alot about that….like about how i really really really really want him to be my best friend…which he is, but it\’s still kind of akward, I don\’t want it to be.  Maybe if we become friends, eventually it might develop into something more….who knows.  Anyways, I know he doesn\’t read this, but just in case someone tells him about it, cause I have a feeling someone will.  I\’ll put this in.  Danny, do you remember a long time ago when you asked me if I would go to your ordination if ever you decided to become a priest?  Well I have come up with my answer….I wouldn\’t miss it for the world.  I\’m still gonna take care of you when you get your wisdom teeth out, unless you don\’t let me.  You seriously are my best friend and no amount of pain and hurt can change the kind of love I have for you.  It\’s pretty near unconditional.  I will ALWAYS be there for you in ANY and EVERY situation.  I love you more than anything.  I\’m sorry for everything.  Even if it never happens again romantically, which i\’m not ruling out or saying it will, I know that our friendship will last a lifetime.  Please know that.  I hope that you feel that way too.

\”I\’m lonely now, and I don\’t know how to get it back to good.\”

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