This weekend is the wedding of one of my absolute best friends in the entire world. A friend that I would literally do almost anything for and a friend to whom I owe so much of who I am. I will forever be indebted to him. I\’m done with my first year of graduate school and am in a better place career wise than I have ever been….i.e. I actually LOVE what I am doing. I have a stable relationship that I am currently navigating through that is relatively drama-free (at least at the moment) which is a nice change of pace for me and I feel pretty good about it. I just signed a lease to what is (in my opinion) one of the best apartment complexes in Austin for a much better rate than I thought possible. Besides working, I have nothing to do this summer besides my research and catching up on TV shows and such, a much needed and appreciated break. Life is pretty groovy. I\’m content.
Now that I\’ve said that, I bring you to today. Today I am sitting in a hotel room in Lubbock, TX awaiting for the marriage of one of the most influential people in my life. I am so happy to get the opportunity to share in that amazing gift with him and seeing him happy gives me more joy than I ever thought it could, which his very soon-to-be wife gives him constantly. The journey to Lubbock and coming to terms with the fact that my best friend will now be a diad has made me think about my life since high school and how very different I\’ve become. I was telling Evan last night that some of the things that I KNEW I wanted in high school are things that I\’m not even sure about now. This has mainly manifested itself in career pathways. For example, when I first came to UT I KNEW I wanted 6 kids and be a stay at home mom. How could I NOT want that? And even now I\’m not sure that that is a dream I am willing to give up completely…but I\’m a lot more open about a possible career path because I found something I am truly passionate about. This is NOT to say I think that a career is better than being a stay at home mom…I don\’t. It\’s just never occurred to me that I could actually do something else and that idea is intriguing to me. I also know a lot more about my boundaries, what I will and will not do, and I have tested those and come out on the other side in one piece. I am pleased with my decisions for the most part and can honestly say I live with minimal regrets. I have learned a lot more about what it means to be me, Karen, rather than someone trying to live like someone else. I\’ve come to the conclusion that no matter how hard I try I can\’t deny who I was made to be. I\’ve been tryign to embrace it. I guess what I\’m trying to say is that I\’m glad I\’ve changed and become how I am because who I am now is more me than I\’ve ever been before. And to my friend who is about to make an amazing commitment to the girl of his dreams, thank you so much for everything you\’ve done for me. I know you know the complexities of what that means to me. I truly love you and am so happy for you.
\”He began with these words: \”Blessed are you, O God of our fathers; praised be your name forever and ever. Let the heavens and all your creation praise you forever. You made Adam and you gave him his wife Eve to be his help and support; and from these two the human race descended. You said, \”It is not good for the man to be alone; let us make him a partner like himself.’ Now, Lord, you know that I take this wife of mine not because of lust, but for a noble purpose. Call down your mercy on me and on her, and allow us to live together to a happy old age.\” They said together, \”Amen, amen.\” – Tobit 8:5-8