Growing Down

I\’ve been meaning to write a post for a while now, but just haven\’t been able to organize my thoughts to make a cohesive post.  I could write about my new job that I landed a little over a month ago, or the fact that my little sister is married and is about to introduce a baby into the house.  Or maybe I should talk about my boyfriend and the absolute sweetest text message he sent me on Friday morning when I was working.  There\’s also the myriad of blogs I\’ve started reading skimming through in order to feel more inspired and creative.  Maybe each of these topics will get their own post at some point, who knows.  My brain is way too jumbled to be coherent.  There\’s too much stimulation for me to be truly present to any one thing.  My seven-wing is getting the best of me.

I will say this.  I have recently had a very strong desire to reach into my past and revisit my high-school self.  Not all of it, of course, but who I was then has become very attractive to me as of late.  High School Karen had her flaws, yes, but she was also hyper-optimistic about the future, an idealist and excited about the world.  She was considered a hyper-liberal in a hyper-conservative town who spent most days in oversized tie-dye shirts, henna-printed jeans and her boyfriend\’s flannel jacket.  She wanted to incorporate Buddhist ideals into her own Catholic faith and was more free from fear than she even knew.  Those are the aspects I find myself longing for now, in my mid-twenties.  I have so much to look forward to.  I have so much to be passionate about and to create.  I might not be the most artistic person in the world, but I owe it to myself to find what makes my heart truly sing and it started back when I was 16.  I have a feeling that will tell me a lot about who I am and what I want.
\”We grow neither better nor worse as we get old, but more like ourselves.\” – May Lamberton Becker

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