I can be profound

I don\’t know what\’s been wrong with me lately.  I mean, I\’m fine….nothing bad is happening to me right now at all, and yet I still somewhat feel out of it.  It\’s like no matter how hard I try to get out of the same old cycle, my own fears and selfishness propels me back to where I\’ve been circling for what seems to be forever.  I shouldn\’t be afraid of anything and I know this, but for whatever reason I am keeping myself a slave to myself and it\’s nearly impossible for me to get anywhere worthwhile.  Perhaps I don\’t even know who I truly am.  I rely too much of what others think about me.  On one end of the spectrum I\’m considered a sweetheart who is kind and thoughtful, but on the complete opposite end I\’ve been told I\’m an insensitive, sometimes mean, Drama Queen.  And yet I\’m different.  Different expectations are placed on me that have not been put on others.  Why do I always want what I can\’t have….why can\’t I just be happy with what I\’ve got?  I really wish someone actually understood me.  I want someone to actually see my soul and know me and understand me….and yet I\’m afraid, because what if they don\’t like what they see…

\”There\’s so much more than empty converstaions filled with empty words.\” – Switchfoot