I Think, Therefore I Am

I think there are basically two kinds of people in the world.  Those who think and those who do.  Now there are the lucky few that can do both and that\’s why we have successful, rich people in the world.  I\’m not talking about those people.  At least that\’s what I tell myself, because it helps me feel not as bad when one of my many ideas does not get implemented ever.  I have a research addiction.  I probably do research more than anything else on any given day (granted, my job is research related, but seeing as that\’s the career path I decided to go into should say something).  I spend hours creating spreadsheets of things to do, restaurants to eat at and recipes to cook.  It\’s a compulsion. I research everything and I\’ve always been this way.

When I was in 6th grade my oldest brother went off to college, the fabulous UT, which made me want to go their so incredibly badly.  I used to pretend I was going to college there.  I learned about all the on and off campus dorms and learned how to use the course schedule when I was 12.

I\’ve always been a huge fan of Walt Disney World.  At one point several years ago, I had documents outlining everything you could do at each of the parks, all the restaurants, rides and shows, plus which parks were open early or late on each day so you knew when you could get your money\’s worth.

It\’s a horribly guilty pleasure for me.  I mean what kind of kid would rather search through pages and pages of real estate to search for an acceptable house in a random state I will probably never live in all because my boyfriend and I talked about him possibly becoming a youth minister and there was an opening at a church in Massachusetts at the time of the conversation.  I can\’t even play Pokemon without a spreadsheet to organize them.

I was asked how I organized and kept up with things on the very first job interview I had after I graduated.  I explained that I make lists, decide what to do first, cross off that item from the list and work my way down.  They later said they didn\’t want somebody too methodical, because the nature of the job was ever-changing and such.  At first, I thought that they were wrong.  I wasn\’t methodical.  I can adapt!  But the more I noticed my general tendency, I am extremely methodical.  Don\’t get me wrong, I can problem solve, but I much prefer to have a written list of the the problem before I do it.  I swear, whoever gets my job position after me at work will have a goldmine of step-by step guides for everything I\’ve done,  because that\’s what I do.I\’m not an extremely good multi-tasker, but I can definitely make up for it in focus, which is more important when it comes to researching things.

There is one fatal flaw about this personality trait.  I don\’t really get anything done.  I have hundreds of ideas, but they end up staying ideas forever.  I think constantly, but the external world doesn\’t even really get to see the results of all that work.  It\’s frustrating.  Nothing gets done.

From a enneagram-standpoint, this makes perfect sense.  I\’m a 6 (security-driven type) which hinders my ability to act and wanting to cover all my bases beforehand to avoid undesirable consequences, but I have a 7 (pleasure-seeking type) wing which wants nothing more to do a hundred million things all the time.  My 7 creates the list and my 6 censors it.  Once I start integrating (which I do during research as it\’s a major hobby of mine), I look more like a 9-5 which is very relaxed and peaceful while being very focused and wanting to absorb tons of information.  However, the 5 has the same problem.  They spend too much time in their heads and have a hard time getting things out into the real world as they want ideas to be fully formulated before they present them, which they seldom are.  My happy 9 state doesn\’t help either, because it\’s hard to motivate him to do anything really.  He\’d rather just chill out. In fact the only times I am really effiecinet at getting things done is when I\’m unhappy and displaying more of a 3-1 characteristic which are very productive, but also intense in an almost oppressive way for me.

The reason I\’m even talking about all this now, is that recently, I\’ve wanted to have a more focused and regular blog, a blog with a purpose where I chronicle my adventures.  Because I have lists of hundreds of restaurants I haven\’t tried here in Austin, and hundreds of delicious looking recipes I find from other blogs and there are several craft (although I\’m really not craft-capable….my fine motor skills just aren\’t up to par) and fitness and fashion ideas from Pinterest.  I have almost 100 activities I want to do ranging anywhere from seeing the Dr. Seuss exhibit on Art on 5th Street to going to a Bingo hall.  I read posts daily that just adds to these lists, because that\’s what I do.  I compile loads of useful information and then cease to use it.  If you want to know what to do, where to eat, I am a pretty good person to ask.  Now, I just need to live the life I have always imagined!

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