It is so over

Do you ever feel like you just need to get away?  Looking back at 2005, I realize that I did not have a good year at all.  There were a couple good things, e.g. graduating, turning 18, Stuebenville, Prom, getting a 4.0…but there were also alot of bad e.g. not getting into UT, Danny and me breaking up and ALL the drama that ensued, having to leave Spring and CGS especially and go to Arlington, working at Panera, Joe and I breaking up even though we were never actually officially together, food poisoning right before thanksgiving.  And you know what I\’m so DONE with all the bad crap that I\’ve been going through last year.  I mean I\’m SO OVER IT!  I need to get out of here.  I\’ve been in a slump for a really long time.  I haven\’t been really truly like happy in a long time and I\’ve cried more this year than I ever have in my entire life.  So with that being said, I am going to freaking give my life a change, because whatever it is I\’m doing is obviously not making me happy.  So that\’s my new year\’s resolution.  To have more peaks than valleys this year and to actaully do something right for once in my freaking life.  So what I plan to do is to really do some soul searching, some intense prayer, evaluate my life and the relationships I have with people, really get to know me better and hopefully boost some of the bad self-esteem and low self-dignity.  I really need to focus on what\’s important in life and what the right thing to do is.  I need to learn to be ok with myself before I can even think about being ok with anyone else.  Gosh, I hate it when Joe\’s right.  It makes me so mad sometimes.  I have to figure out what I really need to/want to do, because I have no idea in the world.  I have to forget about boys…which is really hard for me to do and actually live my life and be holier and be just a better, more adjusted person.  I\’ve been a complete wreck for a while, if anyone even noticed, and I\’m so done with it.

\”We were meant to live for so much more, but we\’ve lost ourselves.\” – Switchfoot