The weather yesterday and today was sooo incredibly gorgeous. It just made me happy to be alive. It made me think of all the times in my life when I\’ve been really at peace. You know those moments that whenever you think about them just makes you smile. It\’s times like this i wish i could replay them over and over. Yesterday I also had a very clear and real picture of what at that moment I wanted. Someone to share it with. Now I know I don\’t need anyone to share it with me, but sometimes I think about it. I\’m a little bit of a hopeless romantic….what can i say. But it was the perfect day to go for a walk around campus and talk about goofy crazy things with someone who really and truly cares about you….that thinks you\’re the world….and you feel completely comfortable with him….you can totally be yourself….and he loves that about you….and you love the fact that he\’s secure and let\’s you be who you are….and is your best friend you can tell everything to….that\’s what i wanted today. It\’s days like yesterday when I miss the relationship Danny and I had. not necessarily the relationship even….but the stability. the comfort of being completely yourself and feeling safe. being able to play with the wooden railroad set when your 17/18 years old. That\’s what I want again. That sort of thing. not the drinking….not the sex….not the partying. I have my whole life to do that. I want to be able to walk hand in hand with a guy grocery shopping and arguing about whether or not skim milk is better than 2%. I want to be able to cook dinner with him or clean out my closet with him. I want to be able to sit outside on a beautiful day with my head on his shoulder talking about life and God and what\’s going on in the world….but the next minute have a conversation of silly faces. I want to be able to dance in the aisles at Wal-Mart. I want him to come up behind me and hug me and kiss my cheek and tell me that I\’m beautiful and that I\’m special. I want to be able to go to confession with him and pray a rosary and go to mass. I want him to come to my house and bring me breakfast in bed. I wanna run through the sprinklers with him and look at the stars with him. I want to be able to be with him without worrying about what will happen between us. I want to want to be a better person because I\’m with him. And I want that at the end of the night after our kiss goodbye and he drives away to be thinking about me and thanking God for putting me into his life, because that\’s what I\’ll be doing too.
\”When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody,
you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.\” – When Harry Met Sally