Light the fire of our love

Love is probably the most talked about topic ever to exist. That\’s my statement on that, and yet I feel that it is most often misunderstood and misguided emotions. It is ultimately what our heart and soul wants and yet it can seem evasive. I\’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. What does it mean to love, and am I really capable of something so…selfless? I told someone yesterday that I have a hard time believing in love, in true, good love because it\’s not something that I feel I have much access to down here. I told him how jealous I was that he was able to just have the desire to pursue and the desire to actively want. That\’s a real blessing that I, unfortunately haven\’t been able to muster up as of late and I think I know why. Actively loving takes a lot of emotional energy, and my emotional reserves are pretty much all depleted due to the demise of a significant relationship that has ended in a flurry of negative emotion. It has drained me so much emotionally that I can\’t even begin to think about actively loving. I simply don\’t have the drive or the energy to do that right now. I told him that I didn\’t want a relationship with all the drama…I just wanted rest, to be picked up and held, to refill my emotional reserves so I can once again have enough to give freely. I\’ve thought about my heart being broken on the floor, and I don\’t want anyone to touch it and anyone that does will get cut on my sharp shards. God, give me that desire. Give me that desire for You and no one else. Let me breathe. Let me rest. Let me see a new perspective and way out of this mess. I want to love you, teach me how. Show me my own love and desire. Give me Your love and desire.

\”I\’ll love you when you\’ve had too much.\” – Alli Rogers Nothing to Cry About

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