This was the sentence I was most apprehensive about this prayer. I feel it\’s very obvious to understand why. Lust is one of the more taboo of sins, and has a sexual connotation, and I don\’t really want to broadcast that part of my life for obvious reasons. So I am going to reflect on that privately in my head, or maybe even a personal journal, but certainly not on the internet. Instead I will reflect on the alternate definition of lust, intense longing. This I feel is a more appropriate and broad issue that extends not only to one\’s sexuality, but crosses over into other realms of life as well. Intense longing isn\’t necessarily a bad thing…was my first thought upon reading the definition. And I stand by that. It\’s not a bad thing, if what you long for is the right thing. We all have intense longings, for love, for God, for peace, for freedom, etc. I don\’t think many would argue that those were inherently bad. The tricky part is when that intense longing is transferred to things, to people, to money, etc. I really believe that this is where a lot of my personal downfall has resulted. My intense need and longing is for God, but God is up there, removed and enigmatic to me. I don\’t understand or feel God in a physical, real, earthly way. That\’s where I struggle a lot. That\’s where I think I need Jesus the most, who I\’ve always had a problem relating to. So I look for those feelings elsewhere…mostly in people, specifically in romantic relationships and those intense longings for God get transferred to intense longings for that person. It has been my downfall several times. It continues to be one of the biggest downfalls of my life.
\”I think it\’s time to find a better way to live my life than loving all those things that keep me wrapped so tight.\” – Sanctus Real Things Like You