Ironically, it\’s not that cold in my room at the moment which is surprising because my room in Spring never ceases to be cold. What I think the coldness within us really means is the detachment within us. It\’s that ability and desire to just detach and not feel, to be a stone. It\’s the coldness I feel towards my ex who really hurt me or towards a situation I didn\’t like the outcome. Think sour grapes, think non-forgiveness. It\’s almost like bitterness only a complete shut out. Like it doesn\’t even matter to you, even if it really does. I tend to do this shut out a lot when I\’m stressed. I try not to feel hurt, I expect people to disappoint me to help me handle the pain. It\’s a sad way to live when you truly can\’t be expressive or passionate. I feel like as an overall rule I have lost a lot of my passion and engagement throughout the last couple of years. There are a number of reasons for this I\’m sure, but knowing that I have so much more to offer the world than what I have been is so frustrating. Turning off your heart can never be the way to go, right? Without love and passion, what is it that you really have? The coldness within us shut us off from that. It hardens our heart. It becomes complacent. It becomes cold. We lose a bit of our humanity. Think of the cold skin of Edward the vampire from Twilight (yes, pop culture from today will creep into my meditations). It\’s not a human thing to be cold. Being cold is a sign of deadness. What could be worse than being dead on the inside? Awaken me from my slumber and bring me that life-giving spirit that drives my passion so that I can do what I need to do to glorify You.
\”Cold is the night, but colder still is the heart made of stone, turned from clay.\” – Jars of Clay Fade to Grey