Sick with the Flu

For the last couple of days, I have been sick with what I presume to be the flu. I\’m sure I have what everyone else in the world has, and that seems to be the general consensus, but I refuse to go to the doctor to find out for sure, because a trip to the doctor for me really means waiting in the ER for however many hours for them to tell me that it\’s a virus and they can\’t give me anything anyways. Isn\’t health insurance fun? I mean, it\’s cheaper for me to got to the ER than have an appointment at a regular doctors office. I find that a bit messed up. I feel like it\’s a flaw in the health system. The ER should be used for Emergencies, not things like the flu. I don\’t know, maybe that\’s just me. Anyways, I\’ve been home sick for the past 3 days doing a lot of nothing. Yesterday, I spent all afternoon watching Boy Meets World episodes. Now, I knew it was my favorite, but watching it yesterday just reaffirmed how much I love that show. I noticed yesterday, that Boy Meets World is one of the only secular shows that I can think of that openly discusses God and prayer. In shows like how I met your mother it\’s all about \”the universe\” bringing them together, yada yada. But in Boy Meets World in a number of episodes they refer specifically to God and His protection and love. I find that to be refreshing. I also determined, I am a female version of Cory. (I\’m pretty sure he\’s a fellow 6w7) Anyways, the episode when he thinks he\’s dying and gets diagnosed with severe hypochondria, there is a scene that I swear could come right our of my life and when I watched it all I could think about was how that was exactly what I wanted, especially now when I\’m home sick with the flu.

T: \”You want me to make you some tea, then?\”
C: \”You know what I really want?\”
T: \”What.\”
C: \”I want you to come sit next to me and hold my hand until I fall asleep.\”
T: \”That\’s what you want?\”
C: \”Yeah, I do.\”
T: \”Is this what our life is gonna be like?\”
C: \”Could you talk softer, just a little bit\”
T: *Whisper* \”Is this what our life is gonna be like?\”
C: \”Well, sometimes you\’ll be sick and I\’ll take care of you.\”
T: \”That sounds nice.\”
C: \”I just want to know that we\’ll always take care of each other.\”
T: \”Do you feel better?\”
C: \”Well, isn\’t this better than going to the movies?\”
T: \”Yeah, it is.\”
C: \”Then I feel better.\”

It must be a security-driven thing. The more I think about my life, the more I realize just how security-driven it is. The things that I want more than anything else in my life are those things that make me feel safe, at home, taken care of, provided for. Recently, I\’ve started discovering the good things that come out of being this way. It\’s easy to get caught up in the complaining and anxiety and vacillations, but there are good things that come from this. Strong, lasting relationships, a commitment to family and traditions, a cooperative spirit, a concern for the well-being of the group, meaningful connections with people, a highly engaged person who has the ability to draw people in, etc. These are are the things that I didn\’t even realize I loved about myself, because they haven\’t been something I have been conscious of for long. It\’s about being there. It\’s ALL about being there.

\”God is protecting the people in this little town. They live their lives and they come out of their houses and they see this sky and they know God\’s protection and love and that everything will be alright.\” – Topanga, Boy Meets World, Starry Night

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