The Bravery of My Friends

First off, I thought of this post while reading Kaitlin\’s blog, which I love immensely. This post is somewhat of my comment on her last post about how graduate school right now is her calling, or vocation, and how much she loves what she is doing right now. It\’s nice to see a positive image of graduate school, because it seems like the overall impression is that graduate school is not something you want to do, but more like something you feel you have to do. Now, I believe that graduate school is the most work I have ever had to do in my life….except maybe camp counseling in the hot summer in Livingston, Texas….man, that was hard. As I was saying though, grad school has been a lot of work….and I\’m only getting my master\’s right now. However, it is something that I really and truly am passionate about. When I look at my life a year ago, I can\’t even believe that I didn\’t decide to do this sooner. It\’s almost as if I was born for this. So, when I read Kaitlin\’s post about how this is her vocation, I completely related. I do feel like what I\’m doing right now is my vocation, and as much as I sometimes hate reading or writing or going to class….at the end, it\’s all worth it to me, because at the end of the day I am so fortunate to be studying what I truly love.

Which brings me to my future and where I will go from here. I need to start deciding what to do after I get my master\’s degree and the more I think about it, the more I feel like I need to at least try and get my PhD, which may or may not happen…depending on a variety of factors including the daunting one of getting in. So, being the little researcher I am, I have spent quite a bit of time and effort to search for all the PhD programs that would be a good match for me…and only one is in Texas. The rest are elsewhere in the country and part of me really wants to leave here and explore someplace entirely new. I think that is incredibly brave, to just go out and go somewhere where you know no one. To have an adventure that is totally outside everything you\’ve ever known. To leap out on your own and let your flight training (or gravity) determine the rest. I ahve two very close friends that have moved across the country from Austin,one in Washington D.C. and the other in Chicago, IL. Neither really knew anyone in their respective cities, but both decided to take that leap of faith and just go for what they want. I am very proud of them, and a little envious. I wish I was that brave to discover worlds and to show myself how independent I can be. I tend to be too afraid to do things like this, to live with reckless abandon. But how I wish I could just leave it all to chance and discover what it is I am truly made of. And maybe someday I will have to be that brave. Maybe I will be forced to move outside of the security of my home here, but for now, I\’m staying right here in Austin….at least until next August.

\”The great thing in the world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving.\” – Oliver Wendell Holmes